No matter how happy a couple is and how compatible they are with each other, they will still fight. I know; the fact that every couple has relationship problems is little comfort when your relationship is going through a rough patch. But what does make you feel better is that if others can solve their love problems, so can you. In this article, I talk about two of the common relationship problems that are faced by people and what you can do to handle them.
Most of us have problems getting along with someone in our lives. Often times it is with someone that we really want to be close to. There are a number of very common relationship problems. According to William Glaser M.D., almost all relationship problems are the result of a controlling, punishing, “I know what’s right for you” mindset. Glaser calls this mindset external control psychology and believes it is one of the primary reasons that people are unhappy and have failing relationships.
There are all types of relationship problems including the ones with marriage. For whatever problem there is a solution. Below are some of the most common relationship problems and solutions including resources that can help you solve the problem and have a better relationship or marriage.
Compatibility:
This is one issue that really needs to be addressed. You can never really tell if you are 100% compatible with your partner. Compatibility deals with the ease in which two people make adjustments towards each other. More often than not couples who are compatible get to adjust to one another and this compatibility issue helps the couple to get along with each other really well. Once there is a problem with compatibility then being able to adjust towards each other will be harder thus will cause problems in the future.
Communication:
Communication is one of the things that determine the success of any relationship and it’s ironic how we always take it for granted. Most problems root from poor communication skills. Both of you should be honest and the most important thing is learn how to listen. Make time or an actual appointment with each other. If you live together, put your mobile phones on vibrate or let the answering machine pick up your calls if you really need to talk and settle an issue.
Commitment:
Because there are lots of things that get our attention and keep us busy, we tend to lose focus in the relationship. If you lose commitment to the relationship or one another, then this could be a big relationship problem. Losing commitment to one another is like losing the trust, and love that you have given to one another.
Trust:
In a relationship, trust is the fuel that drives the partners forward. In an absence of trust, the relationship is bound to break up sooner or later. One must understand that there is no magic potion that can build trust in a relationship. If the partners fail to work out trust in their relationship in one way, then they must know that it be done in any other way and try alternative ways. Both the partners must work in various ways to build the trust and take care of their relationship.
Sex:
You might think that sex will never be a problem in a relationship because it is something that you both do consensually. But even partners who really love each other can be incompatible sexually. Sex is actually one act which brings a couple closer together. It is an act that makes two bodies into one. So if you don’t have sexual chemistry then this might be a cause for another to cheat or find someone to satisfy their sexual needs.
Money:
Believe it or not, money is one of the most common reasons why couples break up or end up in divorce. Relationship experts suggest that couples with money woes really need to sit down and talk about their finances. Be honest about your present financial situation. Do you owe an unbelievable amount in your credit card? Do you keep your bills up to date? If things are not doing so well for you, you may want to think twice in continuing the same lifestyle that you’ve been used to before the loss.
If both of you are big spenders, both of you have to be dedicated in changing your ways tendencies. Construct a joint budget and include savings. Stick to your needs and not your wants.
Focus:
When in a relationship, the focus should naturally be on the relationship. This is where many people make the mistake. Unless the relationship is a priority, it will soon lose its luster. There are very few things that one can put above a
relationship. However, when other relationships, friends or work start taking precedence over the relationship, then you can be sure that grave problems are underlying. Such problems can put any relationship to the back burner.
These most common relationship problems are revealed in different ways:
* Over involvement in another person’s life
* Constant phone calls, visits, e-mails, etc.
* Requests for attention or acknowledgment
* Jealous or controlling behaviors (common relationship fears)
* Withdrawal or extreme guardedness
To minimize these relationship problems in love:
Be aware of your fears! It’s okay to feel fear of intimacy; simply knowing that you’re afraid of losing yourself and being engulfed by your relationship or family could prevent it from happening. When you know what you fear, you’re in a better position to deal with it. Accepting that you have a common relationship problem will help you solve it.
Express yourself appropriately. If you’re afraid of being abandoned, try not to suffocate your loved ones with excessive attention or jealousy. Talk about your feelings, write them down see a counselor if you’re really struggling. Don’t let your relationship problems which are normal dictate your behavior or wreck your relationship.
Get educated. Do you have an extreme fear of intimacy or fear of abandonment? Find out how to successfully deal with change and how to be supportive when your loved ones want to change. Read books, seek support groups, or talk to a counselor about your relationship problems.
These common relationship problems take some work to overcome, but being aware and open to change will go a long way.
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