Life's Logics






Law of Mechanical Repair:


After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.


Law of the Workshop:


Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.


Law of Probability:


The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.


Law of the Telephone:


If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.


Law of the Alibi:


If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.


Variation Law:


If you change lines or traffic lanes, the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.


Law of the Bath:


When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.


Law of Close Encounters:


The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.


Law of the Result:


When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.


Law of Biomechanics:


The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.


Law of the Theatre:


At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.


Law of Coffee:


As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.


Murphy's Law of Lockers:


If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.


Law of Floors:


The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are 1 to 1.


Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.


Brown's Law:


If the shoe fits, it's ugly.


Oliver's Law:


A closed mouth gathers no feet.


Wilson's Law:


As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

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